It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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