The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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