He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
