it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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