Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
