Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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