i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
