He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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