I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
