so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
