physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
