You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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