Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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