We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
sex in a hospital.. check
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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