I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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