how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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