What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
