it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
