First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
