i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
