I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
