this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
do nipples grow back?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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