I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
