hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
