I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so let's talk penis.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
