I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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