Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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