I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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