I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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