I wish I could teleport
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked