You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.