I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes