She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just googled if crying burns calories
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag