Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
