As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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