I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
