Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?

(778): View more from British Columbia

Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.

(604): View more from British Columbia

Ohh that happened after I started to cry.

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(604): I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous? (778): Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely. (604): Ohh that happened after I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/giil

Replies (14) Good night (943) Bad night (4445)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.

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(912): I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days. http://tfl.nu/3yem

Replies (18) Good night (7363) Bad night (1301)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.

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(785): I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive. http://tfl.nu/o6oy

Replies (6) Good night (4026) Bad night (1317)
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(207): View more from Maine

we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?

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(207): we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet? http://tfl.nu/uydl

Replies (9) Good night (6189) Bad night (914)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.

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(608): Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college. http://tfl.nu/sy1r

Replies (19) Good night (4181) Bad night (1194)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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(724): you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right http://tfl.nu/sfkm

Replies (20) Good night (4697) Bad night (1862)
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(845): View more from New York

Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self

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(845): Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self http://tfl.nu/ea7y

Replies (2) Good night (682) Bad night (1309)
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(845): View more from New York

Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"

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(845): Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him" http://tfl.nu/pb7e

Replies (9) Good night (1342) Bad night (649)
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(949): View more from California

the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?

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(949): the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real? http://tfl.nu/2sta

Replies (2) Good night (1687) Bad night (305)
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(310): View more from California

At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.

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(310): At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping. http://tfl.nu/qkke

Replies (7) Good night (783) Bad night (738)
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(214): View more from Texas

Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.

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(214): Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds. http://tfl.nu/9ird

Replies (6) Good night (923) Bad night (362)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs

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(802): Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs http://tfl.nu/usn4

Replies (4) Good night (376) Bad night (583)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

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(203): I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed. http://tfl.nu/lxpv

Replies (10) Good night (812) Bad night (463)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great

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(610): I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great http://tfl.nu/gyhs

Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (291)
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(916): View more from California

Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless

(209): View more from California

Sacramento doesn't deserve you

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(916): Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless (209): Sacramento doesn't deserve you http://tfl.nu/wsxj

Replies (5) Good night (757) Bad night (278)

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