Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow

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  (609): if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow http://tfl.nu/srq6
  Replies (10) Good night (942) Bad night (1592)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.

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  (604): Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life. http://tfl.nu/tq60
  Replies (15) Good night (1137) Bad night (3856)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"

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  (563): I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical" http://tfl.nu/2xah
  Replies (20) Good night (1287) Bad night (3095)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.

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  (256): I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck. http://tfl.nu/xyly
  Replies (15) Good night (1072) Bad night (5294)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

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  (778): I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. http://tfl.nu/71jn
  Replies (7) Good night (5264) Bad night (1153)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet

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  (307): All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet http://tfl.nu/uky8
  Replies (6) Good night (981) Bad night (2216)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.

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  (503): i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday. http://tfl.nu/ygu9
  Replies (9) Good night (6420) Bad night (1083)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.

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  (316): Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out. http://tfl.nu/ipe4
  Replies (6) Good night (1500) Bad night (788)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.

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  (403): I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally. http://tfl.nu/1q5b
  Replies (4) Good night (1359) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you

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  (815): You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you http://tfl.nu/fukp
  Replies (9) Good night (1921) Bad night (546)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.

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  (814): My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed. http://tfl.nu/4uwe
  Replies (8) Good night (2702) Bad night (1149)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.

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  (570): I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day. http://tfl.nu/mbwl
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!

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  (310): I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?! http://tfl.nu/1qvi
  Replies (4) Good night (918) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF

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  (207): It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF http://tfl.nu/i5py
  Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (409)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?

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  (+44): What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick? http://tfl.nu/5mnp
  Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (423)

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