I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?