I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus