Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
