The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
