I bet he comes in French.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
