Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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