Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
