And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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