It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
