I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
