we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
