there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
