it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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