fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
