You're my little dorito
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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