1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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