he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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