The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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