first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize