Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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