I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
