if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
