he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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