I cockslap morals
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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