Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize
