Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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