I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize