You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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