I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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