yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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