so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
