i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
