wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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