How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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