when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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