I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
