i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i think i have two assholes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
