friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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