just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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