Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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