Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
